Desire Is a Lie: The Moment You Silently Say "Yes" Is the Real Trap

Desire Is a Lie: The Moment You Silently Say "Yes" Is the Real Trap

You think you're chasing dreams, but you're just nodding to someone else's expectations.

I used to believe that wanting success, money, recognition—was natural. But one day, I stopped and asked myself: is this really what I want, or did I just never say no?

That day, I stayed up till 3AM for a brand deal I didn’t even want. I told myself, “This is a great opportunity. Don’t miss it.” Looking back, that wasn’t a choice. That was me saying “yes” to an idea I never questioned.

Desire isn’t a feeling—it’s the moment you agree with an illusion

The Stoics say desire is a misjudgment. We don’t crave the thing itself—we crave what we think it will bring us: status, applause, metrics.

The real pain isn’t in not having—it’s in handing over control. Letting a brand, a KPI, an algorithm decide whether we’re allowed to feel happy. That’s not ambition. That’s remote control.

Real freedom isn’t about what you want—it’s about what you choose to agree with.

The turning point: You're not a slave to feelings. You're the architect of decisions.

When a desire shows up, I’ve started asking it three questions:

  1. Will this help me become a better version of myself?

  2. Is it tied to things I can’t control? (Other people’s approval, algorithm rewards)

  3. Am I agreeing out of fear—or choosing based on values?

Most of my worst decisions came from fear of missing out. But fear is the easiest emotion to manipulate. Choice is a skill you train.

Wish vs. Want: Are you chasing dopamine or becoming who you want to be?

The Stoics had a word for rational desire: "wish." It’s not about craving thrills. It’s about pursuing virtue—courage, temperance, justice, wisdom.

When I focus on who I want to be, instead of what I want to get, I feel more grounded, more steady. Like strength training—it hurts now, but it builds lasting strength.

When joy comes from living your values, it’s a deeper kind of happiness.

For every creator who feels pushed by endless wants

If you’ve been saying “yes” to every opportunity, every trend, every algorithm—and feel more drained than fulfilled—this is for you.

Stop. Don’t rush to respond to every desire. Ask it: “Who are you? Where did you come from? Where are you taking me?”

Because you’re not just a content machine. You’re the designer of intention.

Own your “yes.” Own who you’re becoming.

See it on Medium

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